May 3rd 1997,
Last night, it was reported by further sources that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was dead. The story was the famous Harry Potter, a.k.a, The Boy Who Lived, was having a duel with You-Know-Who, when he accidently killed himself. Earlier before that, there was a war taking place inside of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but this is all we know. We hope to report later with more news,
The Daily Prophet.